Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Attack on an Innocent Overweight Jogger

It was a cool and quiet night, the park was void of activity except for a lone jogger. A cyclist enters the park and circles about the park, eyeing his heaving prey. The fat, sweaty jogger was wheezing loudly. The shifty cyclist creeps up alongside the panting jogger slowly and said "Hi, i'm sorry, but.... can we be friends?". The grumpy jogger replied, "hullo!?! I'm *wheeze* jogging here *pant pant*". The annoying cyclist persists, "So does this mean i've got no chance to get to know you then?". Bloody 'ell!?! Right before sprinting off, the jogger gives a curt, icy glare and said, "maybe if i wasn't *gasps for air* jogging!".
Can you believe the nerve of him! There i was barely able to breathe and jog at the same time, sweating like a hog in heat, jiggling and wheezing, and this here guy wants to make friends!?! I feel really sorry for the guy for he must be really desperate to approach me. Or he left his glasses at home. Or he thought "she's fat, she's been joggin she must be exhausted! she can't run far or fast and i'm on a bike!".
Is it that difficult for you to meet women? I get junk mail by the hundreds advertising "Lonely, Desperate Singles seeking life partner" or "find your love match here!". Go sign up boy! Then cycle over to meet your date! And by the way... you're probably 10 years younger than i am. Please latch on to someone nearer your age group. No way you can understand me if i were to talk about how much i liked Debbie Gibson and Bros when i was 13.


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